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Lucifer XIII [userpic]

[New High Speed Internet!]

July 21st, 2011 (09:32 am)
ecstatic

Feeling: ecstatic

So the super cute cable guy just left and I now have a super awesome internet connection! We are supposed to get 12 megs dl and 3 megs ul. We are getting the 3 up but we are getting 24 down!!! Hallelujah!!

We have to wait for the wireless router to arrive in the mail so until then I'm sharing to connection with the family but it's still super awesome. I'm going to go watch videos on youtube since I know they won't lag now. ^_^

(Real updates after the router arrives.)

Lucifer XIII [userpic]

[Southern Belles in London, Sing.]

July 16th, 2011 (12:10 am)
cheerful

Haunting: home
Feeling: cheerful

This morning I woke up and felt so frustrated with the world. All of my best friends live in other states. I'm constantly battling some weird melancholy. I've got weird health problems. I just didn't want to get out of bed. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Work was alright. I neglected some things I really should have done, like scrub tubes and draw for appointments. I also left an hour early. I was going to take Andra to see Harry Potter BUT with all the crowds the film is drawing, neither of us thought we would be very enjoyable. We'll probably go in a couple weeks when the fuss tapers off. So, we were left with an open evening... what to do, oh, what to do?

I did a Google search of "stuff to do in CT on July 15th." I got some weird state visitor list of events. I should have book marked it. Only one item really stood out. It was a place called "Creative Cooking: New Orleans Restaurant." They had live jazz listed as an event. It was a 40 minute drive, which was a bit of a downer but I was feeling adventurous. It turned out to be well worth it. The only difference between this place and a real New Orleans restaurant was the smell. Real New Orleans has that beer, heavy plants, and hints of sewage smell. So pungent that it becomes pleasant to me. The "jazz band" lacked traditional jazz instruments and played funk songs but they were good so it's cool. I had a lot of fun even though we were only there for an hour. We passed a lot of awesome looking places along the way. I think it's safe to say I've found an area I look forward to exploring.

Adventuring like that revived something in me. The part of me that has been sleeping underneath all my bills and stress and health problems... it feels good...

The Sign
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My Blackened Catfish on Red Beans and Rice.
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Lucifer XIII [userpic]

[No Love]

July 15th, 2011 (09:59 am)

This song has been popping in my head a lot lately.
Some of the lyrics are a bit ridiculous but others strike a chord in the core of me.



LYRICSCollapse )

Lucifer XIII [userpic]

[TGIF]

July 15th, 2011 (09:47 am)
calm

Haunting: home
Feeling: calm

I'm actually quite glad that this week is almost over.
I have an appointment today and one tomorrow. On Sunday, I have to go in because I'm tattooing a friend of mine. Monday I have to clean my house. I have been too busy to give it the ocd attention it's used to. Things are dusty, floors need swept, laundry needs put away. All the little stuff. I swear that on Tuesday I am not doing ANYTHING. I'm going to lay in bed, crochet or embroider and watch Vampire Diaries until I finish season 2. Oh, I'm going to call Paula and set up a ladies night for us to hang out and watch season 3 of Vampire Diaries together when it starts to air... but a phone call doesn't get me out of bed, so it's not cheating.

I've been growing a lot as an artist lately and it's making me feel really good about myself. I've finally gotten over that hump of telling myself that there are things I "can't draw." They might not look the way I see them in my head. I might have to re-draw it a couple times to get it right, but I've yet to face anything that I really just could not draw. I've noticed that I am really hard on myself. It is a good thing most of the time. It keeps me grounded and pushes me to better myself. The only bad side is that sometimes I believe my own hype and ended up beating myself down. I don't know. I just look at some of the greats out there and feel like I'm not working hard enough. I see published and/or famous artists and feel so lazy. Kinda been driving myself crazy with this shit lately.

It's Friday night. Lobo is going out with the CT Ghost Hunters tonight. They are investigating a house that is believed to have poltergeist. I don't know what time he's going to be home. I've been racking my brain trying to think of something I could do tonight. I looked through my facebook event invitations and everything that was happening tonight was happening out of town. Like hours away out of town. Which is lame. I could be one of the cool kids and go see the last Harry Potter movie but I'm sure the theatre will be packed and I'm not a big fan of going to the movies when the movie is new. I guess I could go see a movie that has been out for a while. It's a shame there isn't a bit more late night culture locally. One thing I really miss about other places I've lived are the gallery shows that go on until midnight and things like that. Seems like all of CT, that isn't a bar, is closed by 9pm.

Ah well. I have a few more things to do before I leave for work.

I still feel like garbage but I am doing all I can to stay in good spirits. Keeping a positive mindset has done wonders for helping me get through all the things that have been beating me down lately.

Lucifer XIII [userpic]

[No Rest For The Wicked]

July 14th, 2011 (08:40 am)

After everything that has been going on, I really don't want to get out of bed today. I feel exceptionally exhausted. If I didn't have a deposit paid on an appointment, I'd just go back to sleep.

Lucifer XIII [userpic]

[Ms. A]

July 6th, 2011 (09:40 am)
sick

Haunting: home
Feeling: sick

I was going to leave for work early and it looks like that isn't going to happen. I'm running behind schedule. So, if I'm already not leaving early, might as well update my blog right quick...

My allergies are being AWFUL!
Yesterday I ended up crying as a result. I cannot imagine why they are so bad. We really need to clean the snake tanks, dust, sweep, vacuum and all that. However, I don't recall a time when my allergies were ever this bad. I would hate to think I'm actually sick. Again. I swear I've been sick more times since moving to CT than in my collective life before moving here. I don't know what the deal is but I hate it, When I woke up this morning, I could only open my left eye half way. Allergy meds and washing my face with cold water seems to have helped.

I really feel like I only blog to complain right now. For that I apologize. I promise no one wants my life to get more positive than I do. I try to remind myself of the good things. I have an AMAZING son, who is probably the coolest person on earth! I have an AMAZING boyfriend. Sometimes he doesn't always "get me." But he loves me and is good to me and that shows in everything he does. I have an AMAZING step-daughter. Sometimes she's a pain in the butt But she's an all around good kid and I'm happy to be a part of her life. I have my dream job. I have an awesome car. I have an amazing group of friends. I wish they weren't spread out all over the country but a phone call or an email and I'm in contact with some of the best people this country has to offer. AND I have a game plan. I know what I need to do to make the best of my life and I am working towards that every single day.

Now that I have shoved a sufficient amount of sunshine up my butt I am going to replace my now-empty box of tissues and get dressed for work. Ciao for now my lovelies.

XIII

Lucifer XIII [userpic]

[...And What Is That Smell?!]

July 5th, 2011 (07:49 am)
busy

Haunting: home
Feeling: busy
Listening to: Social Distortion

Just noticed it's been a week or so since my last entry. I've really been slacking on the lj front lately. I've just been so swamped by off line life that I haven't had time. I've not even been checking my facebook everyday. It's just how it is. Last week was an absolute nightmare.

After Lobo's Mom and Mike's wedding things just unraveled for me. I spent Monday and Tuesday lending money, running errands, paying bills, and focusing on getting Lobo's car fixed. So, by Wednesday morning, when I got up to go to work, I was broke. I haven't been broke in so long that I didn't even know what to do with myself. It was nuts. Wednesday, I go to work, I'm stressed out. I get a call from my mom telling me that the sister that I haven't spoken to in about 2 years has an aggressive cancer. As soon as she is approved for Medicaid they are going to start her on Chemotherapy. She is only 20 years old. So, needless to say, that really fucked me up. I love my baby sister but we had a bit of a falling out and I dunno... it's all a mess. So, that is eating away at the back of my head all day. Also, I started my period Wednesday morning, I woke up with a sinus headache, and by Wednesday it was obvious that I caught the stomach bug that my niece Sarah had at the wedding.

Thursday, more of the same. My mom called me at work with more news on my sister. My coworker was being annoying. Blah blah blah. I get ready to leave work and there is a screw in my tire. I use my triple a to have them come out and put my donut tire on. Then I gimp my car all the way home at a whopping 35mph. I rode with my flashers on because I was going below speed limit and wanted to let other drivers know it was okay to pass me. At one point I pull over and some lady yells, "Turn your lights off, asshole." I got so upset by this. I was just doing to polite, oh and legally mandated thing to do. Just another reason to loath CT. Apparently, having manners and following traffic laws makes you an asshole. I wonder if that disgusting, piece of shit would have not hollered like a drunk man out of her car window if she had know all that the week had given me.

Friday morning I get up at the crack of dawn. I shower, dress, and head to the tire place. Turns out the tire was destroyed. They won't just patch it. I raise a bit of a stink. Last thing I need is to spend $125 I don't have on a tire! The guy was sympathetic to my plight and ended up charging me cost for the tire and no labor. He'll never know how very thankful I really am for that. Otherwise I would have been fubared...
So, I come home after the whole tire thing, just long enough to grab my laptop, book bag, and lunch. On my way out the door, I missed the last 2 or three steps. Rushing, not paying attention. I land with all of my weight and the weight of my bags about 2 feet down, all on my right ankle. 5 days later and it still hurts. I'm writing it off as a sprain. I may have torn something, or worse, broken something. However, with no kind of insurance and no money presently, there isn't a whole lot I can do about it.

Saturday was work as usual. I was stressed, limping, frustrated, etc. However, it was an otherwise good day. Made a some money. It was good.

Sunday, we had a normal Sunday. Went to different second hand stores looking for the last couple pieces Andra needed for her CosPlay costumes for Connecticon. She's going all 3 days. Lobo and I may go on Sunday. We both have to work the first two days of the Con so we'd only get to enjoy the last couple hours of it, if that, if we went on Friday or Saturday. Either next year, or the year after, I would love to get a booth in their artist section and sell prints and amigurumis. Though, I'll just have to wait and see...

Monday, was Independence Day. Lobo had wanted to just stay home and do his thing. Instead, I dragged the family over to his sisters house. They were all mumbles and grumbles about it until we actually got there. Lobo slowly started to relax and have fun. By the end of the night we realized we had stayed a couple hours longer than we had planned to and we all had a good time.It was a really pretty good day. Paula and I got in some good "women talk." I am going to try to make it out to visit with her more often. She and I both need it, I think.

So yeah. Now that those of you who care are up to speed, I'm going to bandage up my ankle and get motivated. I have so much to do today that it isn't even funny...

<3

Lucifer XIII [userpic]

[Morning Quickie]

June 29th, 2011 (09:33 am)
sick

Haunting: home
Feeling: sick

Sunday, we went to BlackRock's Mom's wedding. It was really nice. I love his family. His grandmother danced ferociously with me. I was exhausted after one song. Come to find out that while she's shimmy-ing, shaking, and twirling all over the dance floor, she has a broken foot! >_< I hope and pray I have half that energy when I'm her age (83). At the end of the reception, much to the orchestration of everyone in attendance, I caught the bouquet. It was comical how they set it up. I would have to have been blind and limbless to have not caught it. LOL
The best part was watching everyone, even his grandmother, tell BlackRock he needs to marry me. It made me feel so good to know that they all like/love me and want me to be a part of their family. His sister told him he's not going to get a better girl than me with me sitting right there! I feel pretty snazzy if I do say so myself.

Monday and Tuesday were a nightmare. I ran so many errands, paid so many bills... I'm now broke and stressed out beyond belief. The icing on the cake was when my cell phone broke. I could cry. Luckily I signed up for Sprint during a weird promotion and was able to do my end of contract upgrade like 6 months early. So, I now have a new phone and will be able to get my texts again. My last phone breaking was a slow process. It started by not receiving texts half the time. Then not receiving calls half the time. Then the battery life kept getting shorter and shorter until it would only turn on if it was plugged in...

Now I'm cramping terribly. I have a sinus headache, and I'm fighting a stomach bug I picked up at the wedding. Time to get ready for work. *facepalm*

Hope all those who care send me good juju throughout the day.

Lucifer XIII [userpic]

[Busy As A Bzzzzz Bee]

June 24th, 2011 (09:35 am)
content

Haunting: home
Feeling: content

So, a little look would show that my last real entry was the day before I picked up the game Alice: Madness Returns. I beat it last night and now I'm updating. This leads me to believe that I got really into that game. And I did. It was awesome. There were a few frustrating parts and I HATE that the word isn't fully rendered. Otherwise it's the best game that I have bought for my PS3. I have plans to play it again. I'm going to take my time with it and try to find everything. (There are hidden items throughout each level and in the interest of beating the game I missed quite a few.) I also want to take a moment to photograph certain things in the game. I'm going to draw things based on what I photograph. Should be fun. There were so many good quotes. I'd like to record them in my journal as well.

Aside from gaming, things have been pretty well the same. BlackRock s up to his elbows is stress. His job has been getting the better of him lately. Which is a damn shame because he loves his line of work. The company he works for leaves something to be desired though.

Work has been good. My artistic self esteem has been growing. I've been taking the initiative to draw more for people who come into the shop. The positive feedback I get on the drawings I do makes me feel good. Plus, the majority of the people who have come into the shop this week have been looking for me. That makes me feel better as well. Usually everyone who comes in is looking for the guy who has been there the longest but now that I am over that year and a half mark I'm becoming a familiar face to the shop's clientele. Cindy said that part of the return clients has to do with the fact that I am drawing all the time now. Either way, I like it. Things at the shop have been better. I give credit to the new guy, Greg. He's a lot like the artists that I worked with in Indiana. He's open to suggestions and can offer artistic feedback without sounding critical or bossy. He has enough confidence to draw something up without stress but he isn't cocky. It's nice.

The first day of summer was a couple days ago. Woke up pretty early and got Andra to help me clean the house. We got everything into tip top shape. It's so very nice to have help cleaning the house every once in a while. Doing it by myself can get to be a bit daunting. Afterwards, to kick of summer and thank her for helping me clean, I took her to Magic Wings Butterfly Sanctuary in Massachusetts. It was about an hour drive but very much worth it. The place was beautiful. I have a ton of pictures up on Facebook.

I must get ready for work. A lady can only put off the inevitable for so long. Hopefully, I won't go so long between updates again.

Lucifer XIII [userpic]

(no subject)

June 23rd, 2011 (11:24 pm)

ten days or so since my last login, entry, and of it...
i'm a slacker.
new updates soon, promise.
plus I'll read my friends page... I haven't done that either...